I'm sorry that I have to go...

I was walking alone at the pedestrian walk

and little did I noticed, I was walking in the same direction as the traffic.

I didn't know how, when but a motorcycle hit me so hard that I bled terribly

and everything became black.

The cyclist didn't stop to check on me, I remembered. But a guy was 'chasing after' that irresponsible person,

to seek for justice, to at least tell him to have a courtesy of saying sorry.

The cyclist pushed him away, he fell on the ground; injured himself.

I know him, but he didn't know she was me.

He passed out before he got to figure out who I was.

I woke up, after a very deep sleep. 

I felt weird, I felt different.

I was not bleeding anymore,

I felt like a new person. I was dressed in white.

I figured. I was no longer alive. 

My physical body was buried somewhere,

but my soul was wondering around

as if something was chaining my leg. 

I owed someone something,

or someone just couldn't accept me leaving this world.

The guy, I need to see the guy who fought for my justice.

I was standing in front of his room, in the hospital.

Weird, he could see me from his window. 

He looked happy,

he smiled as if today was the happiest day he had ever had.

 His parents were in the room, together with the doctor and a nurse.

He asked them to leave, cause he wanted to 'sleep'.

But really, he just wanted to see me.

I walked into the room,

he smiled. We promised to meet each other, one hour after the accident happened.

He apologized for not showing up.

He knew I must be worried.

He said, he just wanted to help this girl,

who was being 'hit and run'.

They told him the girl was dead,

he felt sorry for not saving her life.

I sat next to his bed, asking him to stop talking.

I cried.

I started apologizing. 

"Qim, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I have to go.

The girl, she, she was me."

I cried.

 The tears were running on his cheeks.

He was speechless. 

He looked away, he couldn't look at me the same way.

"I'm sorry. I have to go. I don't have much time here.

You have to let me go. I'm sorry. I didn't choose to leave you, Qim. I'm sorry"

I faded away. 

I couldn't see him anymore. 

He couldn't see me no more.

But I could hear him crying.

I'm sorry.

I knew someone was witnessing us, the nurse.

She could see me.

One day, I went to his room again, but the room was empty.

I didn't know where should I find him.

The nurse saw me, and she talked to me, politely.

"I know you. You came to visit him the other day, right?

He's not here anymore. No one knows where he is, not even his family.

He loves you so much, that he couldn't let you go.

That's why your soul is still here, your soul is searching for answers.

He will let you go, he needs more time. 

May Allah bless your soul, sweetheart."

I smiled, with tears in my eyes.

They say it hurts to be left,

but it hurts to leave too.

I woke up, crying.

It felt surreal.

I wish I have more time....

Discover Islam Fest 2017 | MSA McGILL

I was volunteering as photographer during the event and I had so much fun!

At the event, there're few booths for people to ask question about Islam; regarding Ramadhan, Hajj, useful reference books and Quran Listening booth.

It's good to see interested non-Muslims, who want to learn more about Islam.

At the same time, there're 9 discussion tables led by intelligent speakers, and they're discussing about

important stuff ie Allah, Muhammad the Prophet, Afterlife, Islam and Science, Ethics, Women in Islam etc

During the last 30 mins of the event,

I decided to go to the second table, which we discussed about Muhammad the Prophet.

The speaker preferred to answer our questions as oppose to him explaining. 

At this table, there's a curious Jewish girl.

Her question was; why Muhammad is considered as final prophet and does it matter if he's the final prophet or not?

The speaker answered,

if we believe in God, we all believe in the Day of Judgement. 

Before the day comes, there'll be the last and final prophet sent by God.

In Islam, we believe Muhammad is the final prophet.

She questioned more,

how do you know you're in the right religion? Because a Christian will say Christianity is the true religion, a Jew will say Judaism is the true religion and a Muslim will say Islam is the true religion.

Oh yeah, she has a point.

If I weren't born Muslim, and I have to search for my own religion

and I will have trouble finding the true religion, right?

This is a tricky question I would say.

It tests one's belief.

She added a really wonderful point.

Her grandfather once told her that,

Jews, Muslims and Christians, we all have equal chances to be

in the heaven. We have to be sincere in seeking for the truth, and one day God will

show us the truth.

The speaker agreed with her.

I agreed with her.

Being born as Muslim, 

we acknowledge/accept that Islam is the true religion, it's the path that we take

and we embedded the Islamic practices in our life too.

But an atheist, or someone who believes in God but is still confused on which religion 

should he/she associate him/herself into will definitely be clueless.

And the speaker has a good point too!

If we're sincere enough to seek for the truth, God will show us the truth;

but we just do not know when.

The truth will be revealed the seconds before your death,

when you can see things you can't see before, hear things you can't hear before,

that's the moment when you experience the truth yourself.

Your actions, your religious practices that you're doing now are just 

mediums for us to be the best version of ourselves, to guard our heart

because in the end, the most important thing is our state of heart.

The bottom line is, to know that we can only do what we can do, in the most sincere way as possible 

and only Allah can judge us.

Malays usually have this stereotype that all non-Muslims are bad,

but just because of they are from different religions, that doesn't mean

they're bad, or we're any better than them.

Because one day, they may be better Muslims than us, and 

maybe Allah values their efforts and sincerity more

and they might be placed in Jannah Firdaus in the afterlife, we never know.

Even we do not know what will happen in the next millisecond of our life,

so we should stop judging people just because of who they are today.

May Allah guide all of us

and guard our heart and accept our deeds and place us at the same place as 

the Prophet and his companions, insyaAllah.

Puzzles of Electricity : Steve McGarrett

Do you know Steve McGarrett? He's the hottest man alive! Okay, that's a bit of exaggerating, lol.

I had major crush on him when I was in high school, but now, no more.

Today, I saw someone who looks exactly like him!!!

It also means that person I saw looks older for a 3rd year university student though haha!

That class consists of 2nd year and 3rd year students. Since I never saw him in any other class before, I assume he's in the 3rd year. My cousin must enjoy going to this class, lol!

Puzzles of Electricity : Country Girl

She's an interesting girl. She has short hair, boy cut hair and she's blonde.

She has good sense of fashion too! In Fall, she will wear nice fall jackets, of different colours everyday and she's wearing brown leather boots, making her look like a country girl from Texas. She always smiles, she never looks sad, she looks so happy that I can feel her positive vibe every time I see her in class. She always saves us when profs' questions leave an awkward silence in class. 

May God bless her!

Puzzles of Electricity : Mr Grey Part 2

The weather is good today, so everyone is wearing light jacket.

But he still wears his North Face dark grey goose down jacket with maroon checkered design on top.

Today, he's wearing white short-sleeve t-shirt inside, it makes him look tanned.

Maybe he went to somewhere hot during the spring break.

Maybe he went to Miami, where many rich families usually go for holidays -- riding on private cruises, drinking expensive wine. Oh yeah, he's the rich boy in my class.

Puzzles of Electricity : Mr Grey

Today, he wears grey -- a short-sleeved grey t-shirt.

Yesterday, he wore grey jumper with white, short-sleeved t-shirt inside.

He will take off his jumper whenever he's in the auditorium cause the heater in auditorium is just too hot. He looks like he's gaining weight or maybe he starts going to the gym?

He would spend most of the time copying the slides. In between, he will bite his nails. 

If the lecture took forever to end, he would play minesweeper on his phone. 

If he's bored, he would watch snapchat stories. He never accessed his facebook/instagram during lectures. I'm pretty sure he has an instagram account. But who uses snapchat these days when you have 'instastory'?

Puzzles of Electricity : The Positive Girl

She's wearing a trench coat today, it makes her look more adorable. Her floral shawl

elevates the spring vibes.

"No more winter jacket, huh?"

"Only for today cause tomorrow's gonna be cold. I check the weather everyday, trust me!"

She can be really positive or really negative, the bipolar person 2.0.

But everyday, she will remind me of one good thing that happens that day, I love hearing that.

It keeps me going everyday.

God bless you, my friend :)

Puzzles of Electricity : The Sweater Guy

He always his sweater on, throughout the class. 

Isn't he hot?

He talks to me, like talking to a friend.

Sometimes he would think I'm a bimbo, and sometimes he would praise me as if I'm the smartest girl alive.

He's a bipolar person.

When I talk to him, I feel like talking to a younger brother, cause by age, he's younger and immature.

One day, I could smell bell pepper in the class. He was eating that. Who eats bell pepper in class?!

Maybe he wanted to stay awake, or maybe he was just hungry.

He sometimes brought homemade oatmeal cookies too, his mom made them,

When he's nice, he would offer me some and I'd never say no

because homemade cookies are always the best ones.

Puzzles of Electricity : The Unapproachable One

He loves green. He always wears green jacket.

He had long hair, he always had green headband.

But today, he looks different, like a completely new person.

Oh, it's his new hair cut. It suits him more! Short hair is always the best.

Regardless, he still has the same look; the unapproachable look.

Puzzles of Electricity : Introduction

Some profs love repeating everything from textbooks. I read textbooks, I found them very 'calming'. At times, they explained better. I went to the tutorials and the teaching assistants (TAs); they too repeated everything from the textbooks. Well, not all of them, some of them. 

But I still attend the classes/tutorials. Why did I waste so much time? There's a button on my brain that functions to positify everything. Is positify even a word? 

I don't have photographic memory. I wish to be the kind of person who gets everything straight from the lectures, I wish. 

So, by reading textbooks, rewriting notes, doing assignments, attending lectures/tutorials, they really help me memorizing school materials better. 

Thus, I never wasted my time by attending classes/tutorials.

Most of the times, the profs and TAs gave so much hints. 

I love hints cause they join the dots that I have in mind, fix the puzzles and act like a map that leads to "A" lol!

Because some profs/TAs are being repetitive, I'm observing people in class.

Thus, I'm writing the following posts based on my observation. You can judge how observant can I :)

ps, names will not be revealed to protect individual's identities.

(I'm so excited for this series!)

The Beginning of Something Interesting!

I just started writing,

for real!

I'm writing about what I observe, in the most 'literature' way that I can.

I thought of compiling it in a book (novel, if you prefer)

but I  haven't reached that point in life yet.

I feel like I'm not good enough to be an author,

but I definitely can write as a blogger, lol.

(Well, at least at my level of writing where only 3 people would read my blog haha!)

I'm so excited to share this with all of you!!!

Stay tune!