The Petite Malay Girl

Hard time to fit in...

Wednesday 23 September 2015

Hey guys,

these days I am facing the biggest trouble in my life!

That's to be able to fit in.

I do have friends, they're super awesome

but I don't really make friends with the one that's in the same class as mine.

Tutorial to be exact.

Everyone seems to be idk

or it's just me feeling that...

And tbh, that's not me AT ALL!

I used to be the friendly kind of girl,

can fit in any conversation

and do what you should do to mingle around.

But this time,

all the skills went out of the window.

wow that expression was used only in debate

but

I won't be joining debate this year.

I will try another year

but now I am joining Model United Nation

which is so far hella awesome!

I don't go as delegation,

because I face trouble with my visa.

But I run as staff,

photography staff!

It's way different that what I used to join right?

But we'll see how it goes and will try to

FIT IN where I can...

I personally think that there's something holding my back now,

like I don't be myself

or I am not comfortable in being me here...

We'll see.

Maybe it takes time, maybe or maybe I just change.

I mean, people change, right?

Or I don't get to find that one friend that I can be super comfortable with.

This feeling sucks, it feels like I am back to square one,

ugh and if you guys had ever been to boarding school,

this feels exactly like being a form 1 girl lol.

I heard about this kind of problems back then,

from seniors,

but I don't believe it,

but shoooot it's just so true!

Is it because the culture or is it because

I feel intimidated by them being so outspoken(?)

Oh yeah,

I just couldn't find the right clique and the right circle of friends.

I miss my fellow Amigas, gosh.

and I definitely miss my family +1.

After all, it's Eid Adha tomorrow

and when everyone's having rendang,

I will just be looking from my screen,

that's awful man.

To even think of it, I feel like crying.

But I chose this path, right?

Gotta face it *muscle up* lol

Belanja selfie sikit

McGill University

Sunday 20 September 2015

So I have a request to share about my experience here in McGill.

People always mention about the pressure

being in top university like McGill, Toronto etc.

Well,

trust me, the pressure is what lies in your head.

I feel the pressure,

not because the university is pressuring me,

but because I pressure myself.

I choose to do so,

because I am not a grey person.

I am just either white or black.

I can be extremely hardworking,

or extremely lazy.

I choose to pressure myself

because I have to be hardworking and score

and you know the typical

nerd goals of mine.

McGill Uni is cool!

The assignments are there but the due dates are two weeks after,

only some classes take attendance and everything else is optional.

There's a lot of volunteering prog and clubs

that I wish I can cut myself to thousands of pieces so I can join all of them.

The lecturers never ever mention about the university ranking

and the next thing I know,

we're the no.1 university in Canada.

That's great, right?

They don't pressure the kids. Hehe

I guess that's the trick!

IB helps me a lot!!

It's not just the knowledge I gain,

but also the skills that I develop during my IB years.

Thanks to IB,

I can skip U0 and

I only have 4 years to finish my degree

and I have declared my major!

Wow,

I really am trying so hard to cheer up myself.

(Refer previous post)

I make a lot of friends here,

well obviously at first I didn't

but after three weeks (OMG 3 WEEKS ALREADY?)

I felt more belonged here.

But still,

I like to go anywhere alone

and will just meet my friends once or twice,

but that's okay!

I don't feel like a loner cause everyone is like that here :')

Do come to McGill University, my fellow Malaysians

who're doing IB and CPU.

Despite having to be in a place that's completely new to you

because they all speak french here

and I am learning that (thru duolingo, it helps trust me!),

good university with its own museum of dinosaurs and rocks,

you have me to guide you and help you out!

HAHA

But seriously, I would love to welcome more Malaysians

and I am willing to help you out!

It has dinosaurs inside!

Greetings from Montreal!

I just can't believe it that I am gonna write this entry

here in Montreal!

This is so not real!!

Well, to study abroad is definitely

my dream since forever,

but I don't quite sure why, tbh.

The only thing I want to do is to travel!

I love travelling so much it hurts

because I have not enough money.

I am in the middle of

"should I spend on things I really wanna have back then?"

"should I save the money for a brighter future?"

"should I travel?"

I seriously don't mind spending time and money just to travel

but there's a very loud voice inside my head (and heart)

just telling me,

it will definitely be a great idea to travel with my whole family!

I am very very homesick

till I cry.

(Literally crying)

Because I want them to be here with me

(and not me being there with them, you know...)

Wait, I am gonna continue in just a minute.

*Next post*

New Video!

Monday 14 September 2015

Old Montreal :D

Enjoy!

First Video From Canada!

Monday 7 September 2015

I'm planning to do loads of videos,

this is the first trial

so don't expect too much!

Vlog..? Hmm not sure tho, we'll see! Haha

But yeah I hope you enjoy this one :D

MSA Frosh Day 2

Sunday 6 September 2015

Remember I was telling you

how I hardly got to make

a lot of friends like how I used to

in high school here,

well it's true until the MSA Frosh.

Frosh is like a welcoming event that

a faculty or a club will held annually

to celebrate new students

and it's like a homecoming thingy for the returning students.

Faculty of engineering has its own frosh,

but I don't join that

because of personal reasons.

So I join MSA frosh;

Muslim Students Association frosh.

I made thousands of friends here!!

(Exaggerating much but it's true!)

They're super cool people,

of same religious belief

and they like Malaysia!!

I am really glad they're and

Malaysia seems cooler now

because I explained to some of them

about our scholarship programs.

Dude,

we have a lot of scholarship programs

and there're almost 500 sponsored students or more

every year!

Malaysia is generous

and we just have to prove our worth man!

Seriously,

I'm telling this to myself too!

Tuition fees are not cheap.

All we, the sponsored students just have to study and score well

and come back and do something for our nation.

Or migrate to other countries but the GDP thingy will

kinda show how we make progress as a nation!

#adviceformyself

So yesterday we had laser tag!

Today we traveled to Old Port and

the city is beautiful!

and we went up to Mont Royal and watched sunset there

and we got to perform our prayer there :)

We played the labyrinth maze too!

Me and Sofia (she's half Malaysian, born in Canada tho)

we didn't cheat at all and we're very satisfied!

So, enough with the talk!

Here's the pictures!

ps, I'm not in most of the pictures because I'm the girl behind the camera.

I am pretty busy with adjustment now and trust me, I miss Malaysia a lot!
Here's a funny thing about me.
I really wanted to study abroad, since forever then when I got this chance,
I took several days for adjustments.

But hey, I like it here. Well, at least I'm challenging myself
and people won't tease me anymore
(because apparently everyone thinks I'm the manja kid who cant stand on her own feet pfft)

But I am perfectly okay!
(okay I lied, I cried a lot...)

But I am okay, I just feel like it's really a long journey to get here.
Practically it's a 32-hour-journey, and it took a 13-year-struggle to get here.
I am left with another 4 years to make my ultimate goals come true, that is to
be an engineer!

Have I told you about this cool lady on my flight from toronto to Montreal?
Well she has degree in engineering and master in business and administration, that makes
her a consultant for an engineering company here.

Well, that's what I'm aiming for...

My residence is cool! My housemates are amazing.
But still it's not easy to make friends here especially
when they speak French, Quebec french not the France french haha

Anyhow, the international students here are super incredible!